if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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