he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
