I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Randomize
