It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
