even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize