we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm both gender and math confused
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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