I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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