Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
