We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
