Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
