FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
