I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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