Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
