My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
