I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
