God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
