U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
