that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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