That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
