She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
