Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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