I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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