I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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