OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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