bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
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