And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I lost the right to judge tonight
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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