Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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