I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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