After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
