My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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