Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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