My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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