i permit you to call me
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
