so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
