out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
