My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
