sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
