I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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