and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
