A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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