She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
