She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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