you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
