Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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