i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
