you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
