I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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