your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
