I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
