I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
