I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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