I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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