the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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