i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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