He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
