Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My dick has a subreddit
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
