The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
