The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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