so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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