i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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