I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize