How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
