I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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