some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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