um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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